Many of you may be wondering – and rightly so – What exactly IS a HONE DOG?
Hone Dog lore dates back to the late-3rd century – where poems were written about a young Roman peasant who began hurling semi-polished stones while under the influence of beer and La Prima pizza. He quickly noticed that the more animalistic he behaved, the more precise his stone-hurling became. Eventually he “honed” his skills to such a degree that no peer could match him – besting even Roman soldiers who challenged him in bocce duels to the death!!! Sadly, he died in a tragic Zitti-making accident – thus leaving only the myth of the “Hone Dog.”
Fast-forward several hundred years…. throw in the alignment of a few mid-sized planets, along with a sprinkling of astral dust from a passing comet – and you arrive at a team of young men eerily similar to that half-mad Roman peasant, who have an indelible passion for obscure sports, a considerable talent for getting dirty, and a peculiar addiction to shiny things like medals and trophies.
The Hone Dogs bocce team was established in 1998 on a slightly-tepid, spring afternoon during a NSA surveilled phone call between Capo and the Underboss, as it was becoming readily apparent their shared competitive drives needed focus; golf ball skeet shooting and Pope Valley rules horseshoes just weren’t cutting it anymore. Bocce was the obvious answer!!! These two Dogs were originally part of a splinter cell of the now defunct Ehlers Grove bocce contingent; which served as a formidable “honing” ground for their burgeoning bocce skills. Consequently over the years, like hungry wolves searching for Caribou in the Alaskan tundra, the Hone Dogs have attracted a pack of famished, like-minded canines who are desperately in need of internal and external bocce-fullfillment.
Meet the Team
In order of appearance on the FBI’s Most Wanted List
Capo Crimini Cante “Wall Ball” Swearingen
Underboss “Doc” Forni
Consigliere “Patron” Henry
Lieutenant Ahren “Feather Ninja” Trumble
Lieutenant “Joe Bocce” Russell
Lieutenant “Kevbo” McElroy
Hitman Jason “Slice” Abbott
Hitman “Ladera Dan” Stotesbery
Soldier Larry “Big Daddy” Swearingen
Soldier Matt “Fletch” Craig
Leave In Front, Follow That Line, Love Your Balls, Visualize